Christmas Morning

I woke up this morning and there was a vast emptiness. Ryan was always full of joy on Christmas morning and would wake us up early to open presents. Ryan always a child, make our Christmas what memories were made from. in 32 years we were never apart at this time of year. My heart aches.

new chapters have birthing pains. We now have to re invent ourselves. We shall go on,
life will be full again. One step at the time. God has given us strength to this point and will continue to uphold us as we move forward.

SON SHINE --- A TRIBUTE TO MY SON RYAN WHO DIED DEC 18,2010

Son Shine
By

Linda Brytak
December 2010

Heart stops,
Squeezes suddenly,
Tears,
Hold harmony hostage

Standing On the pinnacle,
Ryan and angels there.
Buffeted against the wind,
Arms held up in surrender.
Fingers entwined, singing
Songs of eternal praise.

On ebony night they fly.
In auroras’ dress,
shimmering, glittering, throbbing, circling,
embracing the light fantastic.
No air is there between them.
Clutching a moment,
eternity emanates.

Love comes shining through,
Lustrous Phoebe, shines in nights black velvet
Illuminating the way home,
For the weary traveler

Angles lift him up, lest he fall.
Fatal flaws erased,
Triumphant, he no longer waits
Perfection peaks, at heaven’s gate.

At home, at peace, at last.

SON SHINE, A TRIBUTE TO MY SON RYAN, DIED DEC 18, 2010

                                                                   

Son Shine

By

Linda Brytak

                                                                      December 2010

Heart stops,

Squeezes suddenly,                                                                                       

Tears, 

Hold harmony hostage

Standing On the pinnacle,

Ryan and angels there.

Buffeted against the wind,

Arms held up in surrender.

Fingers entwined, singing

Songs of eternal praise.

On ebony night they fly.

In auroras’ dress,
shimmering, glittering, throbbing, circling,
embracing the light fantastic.
No air is there between them.
Clutching a moment,
eternity emanates.

Love comes shining through,

Lustrous Phoebe, shines in nights black velvet

Illuminating the way home,

For the weary traveler

 

Angles lift him up, lest he fall.

Fatal flaws erased,

Triumphant, he no longer waits

Perfection peaks, at heaven’s gate.

At home, at peace, at last.

hmmm, the things you find

Creative Minority Report: Awesome! Pop-Up Hallelujah Chorus at Macy's

www.creativeminorityreport.com.

  I went to the sight and was delighted with the singing of Hallelujah, so much so that I copied the address so that friends might enjoy too.

To my great chagrin this site also doubles as pro satan. Can you believe it? I do not harken to that idiology as my friends can attest to. So enjoy the singing, don't be put off at the rest of the malarky there.

answer me this

Ryan should be dead by now , yet remains happy and able to get about.
There have been no more anti rejection meds since July. No meds for epilepsy. Many a time he has knocked at death's door and through some miracle has bounced back again.
Now he takes no meds for anti rejection, therefore according to all medical knowledge, the body should have rejected the liver a long time ago. No such thing has yet to occur. 
Last week he contacted pneumonia. It should have killed him as he is supposed not to have an immune system. For, if he did have an immune system it would have attacked the liver long before now. a few antibiotics and he's fought off the pneumonia! this is not what supposed to happen.
  it's so true, when God wants you, nothing can stop him. If God doesn't want you,then you stay put.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE

NOW HEAR THIS, 

To all the government lackeys and those who would put my son in an institution because it's more convenient. For those who  tell me that I'm being unreasonable. Damn straight I'm being unreasonable, this is an unreasonable situation.

As for my son, he will remain at home in the bosom of his family surrounded by love and caring.  It is my intention to keep him safe. He will have what he needs when he needs it. I will be with him day and night until his last breath.

If you want your loved ones to end their days in an antiseptic room with a stranger hovering over they take your last breath. Then, fill your boots!

I will remain unreasonable ~ it is an inconvenient situation.

Lord, give me strength

This morning after Ryan awoke, I administered his morning meds as usual and fed him his favorite oatmeal. Soon after he started crying. This was a strange turn of events, why was he crying I asked. He told me he didn't know where he was. Nor did he know who I was. I had to tell him my name. Not ten minutes later he started hallucinating.He was seeing mice and rabbits, then he saw spiders crawling up my arms. Still he didn't know where he was or who I was. The nurse arrived  and was truly stupefied. Nurse Lynda called the druggist to find out whether there were any side effects with the meds he was on. Sure enough hallucinating was a side effect, though extremely rare with the antibiotic he was taking. Even the druggist was surprised. A new antibiotic will be started tomorrow....sheesh

And then I have a meeting with the case worker who wants Ryan to be put into a long term care facility as he has used up his six months of care and now she wants to put him "away" (my word not hers) I refuse. I promised Ryan that he could die at home and that's what I shall do. No government worker whose life is all rules and regulations is going to make my son die in a facility. so there!!!!