and the beat goes on

I spent an angst filled weekend just contemplating how I would cope if the nursing and personal support workers were to be removed. I was having nightmares and losing sleep.

Ryan got wind of what was being contemplated and translated overheard conversations about putting him in a Long Term Care Facility as meaning that he was a burden on us. That's when he started talking about committing suicide. 

I freaked out; and called the nurse immediately. She suggested that we take him to  emergency and get him seen by a psychiatrist.  Ryan, by this time had calmed down and so we didn't take him to emergency after all. 

From the health care workers to friends, everyone has had wonderful suggestions to maintain the level of care we have been receiving.  This morning, a lovely lady by the name of Andrea, who holds the title of, manager of Clinical Practice, came by. Her advice was to call our family doctor and tell him what this change would do to our family. He agreed to call the support worker to maintain the status quo.

I sure hope that this issue gets laid to rest. I simply would fall apart if Ryan were taken away and not allowed to pass away at home.

breathing a temporary sigh of relief, I hope this moutain doesn't get any higher.