When I became a mother, I wondered if I would love my child enough. Whether I would be a good parent. And now I know.
Ryan has been the touchstone to what is real and necessary in life. I have pared down my priorities so that I can love others. There is nothing else.
I have learned that life at any cost is not worth the price.
What you take with you when you die, is your name and all the love you have shared.
Ryan continues to be happy and still full of quips and double entendres. He has taken on my view of life. We continue to laugh everyday and live life fully, never taking for granted what the day has on offer.
This episode is as much about me as it is about Ryan. This is a lesson in patience, strength and loving. All of which is God given. I have none of these virtues,yet I asked for them and was given these virtues when I needed them most. People who come in and out of my life are surprised at the equanimity in which I deal everyday with the issues at hand. More than once I have been told how strong I am. At this I have to smile. Knowing that in my youth, I was emotionally weak. I am not that same person. God has moulded me into who I am today.
I have not put my value on things, which only leads to disillusionment. I have not been brainwashed into thinking that owing things is how we interpret the value of our lives. Things are a substitute for love.
Dying is the microscope by which we illiminate the dross and focus on the truly important.